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These contain some examples of vulgar language.
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It is sometimes difficult to stay cool when you are ill. Nevertheless here is a list of words and expressions that should help you talk about your aches and still remain dignified. Some of the expressions may be a bit strong, but that when you are ill, in search of comfort or sympathy, what matters is not how much you are actually suffering but how much others think you are suffering.
 Where to go when you're ill
Parts of the body
My ... is sore
I am so ill
(* = familiar, ** = very familiar, *** = vulgar, v = Verlan (back-slang), Lit. = literally)
Where to go when you're ill 4y536l
Le toubib (*) The doctor. From Arabic for doctor.
One of the words that the French imported from Algeria.
L'hosto, l'hosteau (*) L'hôpital The hospital.
This is an example of related words where a vowel with a ^ in one word corresponds to vowel + s in another, e.g. fête and festin, goût and gustatif.
Le gynéco (*) (le gynécologue) Gynaecologist.
Le psy (*) (le psychologue) Psychologist.
Le kiné (*) (le kinésythérapeute) Physiotherapist.
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Parts of the body 2hb6n
Le pif (*) The nose.
La tronche The face.
La gueule (*) The face.
Les chicots (*) The teeth. Lit. the stumps, the stubs...
Understood by all, although not very flattering.
Le bide The belly, the tummy.
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My ... is sore 3b3i2s
J'ai mal au/à la + [any of the aforementioned body parts]: I have a sore [body part that's sore].
J'ai mal au bide I have a tummy ache.
J'ai mal is a rather conventional way of expressing your pain. If no other expression comes to mind, at least make sure you use a cool word to designate the painful body part.
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I am so ill 1b2s45
Je ne suis pas bien ! Je vais mal ! (*) I'm really bad.
J'ai la crève (**) I have a cold.
Je vais gerber (*) I'm going to be sick.
Je suis en morceaux (*) I'm in pieces.
Je vais tomber dans les pommes ! (*) Lit. I'm going to fall into the apples. Never mind the origin of that very usual expression, you'll never it if you do happen to out.
Je vais tomber dans les vapes ! (*) I am going to out.
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