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'Every child will have with a stranger online'

Alex Pope
BBC News, Bedfordshire
Reporting fromBedford
Getty Images A young teenage girl looks at a smartphone. She is wearing glasses and a white T-shirt and leaning against white pillows or cushions with coloured curtains in the background.Getty Images
If a young person has a phone or tablet, there is a "way and means" to them, says Hayley Brown of charity Link to Change

Sophie was just 17 when she was ed online by someone she believed to be a boy of her own age.

Having just split from her boyfriend, Sophie - not her real name - its she was feeling low and lacking self-confidence, so welcomed his attention.

"He told me I was pretty and we chatted on and off for about a month or so on various social media platforms," she says.

He asked her to send him some pictures, which she did. "I didn't think much of it," she says.

He then told her she could make money from the pictures, and asked for more, including sexually explicit shots.

"So I began sending him pictures of what he asked for. Before too long, it was videos and I was in way too deep," she says.

Sophie realised something was amiss when people began to her to say they had seen the videos.

The "boy" asked her for more photos and video, this time of her with others, and she never received any money.

"I felt like I was in a mess and it was all too much," she says.

Alex Pope/BBC Hayley Brown standing by a Hope sign, in red, painted to look like a wall, Hayley is wearing a cream jumper, long necklace, with a black top underneath. She has long dark hair and is wearing glasses.Alex Pope/BBC
Ms Brown says the decisions made by a child after they are ed are crucial

Sophie is one of hundreds of people who have been helped by Bedford-based charity Link to Change.

It offers help, and guidance to young people aged from seven to 26 in four areas of exploitation: sexual, criminal, online and financial.

Operating for 20 years, its clients are referred by organisations including police and schools, as well as parents.

"At some point, every child will have with a stranger online," warns Hayley Brown, its chief executive.

"Find me a young person that doesn't have a phone or a tablet, and if a young person has a phone or tablet, there is a way and means they can be ed," she says.

What is crucial, she adds, are the decisions made after that .

"It's about being able to have those conversations with young people and make them aware of what's happening."

Link to Change A group of people in a room, looking at paper. There are five women in all, one is writing, and they are all concentrating. Link to Change
The charity offers group sessions, one-to-one and help from its offices in the centre of Bedford

"There needs to be more around what we are doing in society," says Ms Brown.

"We can blame the social media companies; however, what we have is a generational gap, around young people, technology that they are using and parents' knowledge and understanding around that."

Parents, she says, have a "fine line" to negotiate as young people's critical thinking will not be fully developed.

"What they think might be a wise decision might not be a wise decision," she warns.

Link to Change A child writing on a wheel, with an arm outstretched. Link to Change
Link to Change says it works with each child to "create change within them"

Everyone, she says, needs to be aware of grooming "as it's a natural process" that builds trust.

The groomer could be an older male, she says, but "could be their best friend, someone in their class, someone the same age as them".

As the mother of a 13-year-old herself, she says: "There's an element of needing to trust my child but also being able to know and monitor what they are doing.

"So many young people are scared to report something that's happened to them as they're scared of the trouble they'll get in. It's not the young person's fault.

"They're not asked to be groomed. In society, we put the blame on children, but this is abuse; this child has been abused."

  • If you have been affected by the issues raised in this article, help and is available via BBC Action Line.

Demand for the charity's services are up: its referrals have increased by 233% in four years.

"We are at a point where our waiting list is so high, we're having a battle with our capacity," Ms Brown says.

But she says it is worth it, because the charity has a 98% success rate in helping people exit exploitation.

"We will not close a young person's case until all aspects of their life are on track," she says.

Link To Change A child, with its back to the camera, wearing headphones. They are by a wooden table, with long hair tied back. Link To Change
The charity says it is all about listening and helping the young person

While it is still unclear who Sophie's groomer was, she says the she received "helped change my life".

"They helped me to understand what had happened to me - it wasn't my fault," she says.

"I had one-to-one for about eight months in total.

"They helped not only with the exploitation, but to be able to build my confidence and self-esteem and my mental health struggles."

James Simmonds-Read, national programme manager for The Children's Society, says online spaces can be "hugely positive" for young people.

They can be places to learn, to connect and have fun, but can also be used by abs to "exploit and groom".

"That's why it is so important for adults to build open, trusting relationships where children can tell them anything without fear of judgement while also staying alert to signs of potential harm, and speaking up if something doesn't feel right," he says.

"Children won't always realise they're being groomed - that's why adults need to stay switched on to the signs."

These can include:

  • Sudden changes in behaviour, particularly after time online
  • Mentioning or meeting new friends they met on gaming or social apps
  • Talking about offers of making "easy money"
  • Being secretive or withdrawn about online activities

He advises anyone with concerns to report them to the police and to the platform where any incidents of grooming, exploitation, or abuse are taking place.

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